A terrible, horrible, no good day

Yes, it's been that bad.

I've had growing feelings of concern, negativity, and many more that I can't name, as far as the MOMS Club is concerned. I noticed at our meeting on Tuesday that the other parents either wouldn't let their kids out of their sight when Brody was around, or they flat out refused to put their kids down and held them on their lap for the entire meeting.

Yes, he's aggressive. yes, he hits. No rose colored glasses here. It's frustrating, but I address it every time it happens. I get a very distinct feeling of disgust from these other mothers. Naturally, they have perfect children. And I've been on the other side too, having my child get hit. I figure it's a part of letting kids grow, learn, figure things out. As long as my kids weren't really getting hurt, I tended not to rush over and give the other kids nasty eyes. But these mom's who are on the board with me have no qualms about glaring at Brody. I find it strange and rather immature.

So imagine, these growing feelings of frustration. This morning at the business meeting I sat at the endge of the table so I could be near Brody in case of altercations with other children. Of course it happened. And of course it happened to be the kid who's mother really does think she is perfect. I've seen this kid hit other kids, but the mother never seems to see it. Yet when her child gets hit, she runs at full speed (I kid you not) to comfort her dear little darling. This girl and Brody were fighting over a toy, while Brody held a train in his other hand. In anger, he banged her on the head with the train. I could see this was going to happen even before it did. By the time I reached the kids, Brody had hit her hard on the head 3 times. Both kids were screaming. I grabbed Brody and left the room to discipline him. As I came back to the room, I saw the other mother and her child leaving. SERIOUSLY??? Who just up and leaves a meeting because their kid got hit on the head?? I guess I'm just not like that. I don't worry that my kids will have long term brain damage from being hit on the head by a playmate.

Brody proceeded to have a major fit the rest of the time we were there. It's really hard to conduct a meeting while trying to keep your child away from all the other children. It's also very hard to keep your compusure. Finally, I told everyone there was no other business and I was leaving. One mom came up to me and asked if I needed help getting Dylan into his jacket. The others mostly just stared. My friend Tracey was in the meeting, and mentioned to me that someone had been talking about me/Brody while I was out in the hallway with him. What the heck? Isn't this MOMS Club thing supposed to be about supporting each other through the rough patches? I just felt nauseated when I left the meeting and it only got worse when Tracey told me her info. I realized that I  leave every single event feeling horrible. It's no one else's fault, it's mine to own. I am LETTING these people make me feel like I'm a bad parent. I am letting them get to me. So I decided to it was time to leave the club. Is it this particular group of people, or are many moms this way? I remember feeling this with Dylan, like I left every event upset and didn't like my child being perceived as the "problem" child. Parenting a two-year old is hard work. Unless of course, you are blessed with one of those elusive "perfect" children.

It's been a day of high drama and I'm all cried out. The mom whose daughter was involved in the incident must be telling a big story, because on her facebook wall, one friend posted "That woman (me) should feel lucky I don't live in the same town, because she'd have a lot to say to her (me). What a horrible mother! SOMEONE needs to stop her (me) AND her child (Brody)."

I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too relaxed about this? I shouldn't be, but I am continually caught off guard when grown women act like they are still in high school. Only it's worse now, because we are like Mama Cubs protecting our young.

I e-mailed the whole club with my notice of resignation, explaining that I knew we were going through a very rough patch with Brody's behavior, but I joined the club in hopes of finding support, not judgement. Predicably, I have received a few nasty e-mails, but mostly encouraging notes from the people I really liked anyway. Every time I see a new e-mail in my inbox, I cringe and prepare myself for the slaughter. I'm kind of relating this to Brian getting bad press. What a horrible feeling this is.

I'm trying to suck it up and learn from this too. My natural tendency is to pretend it's not happening. The Scarlett O'Hara theory of dealing with it tomorrow usually works for me. Until it gets to this point and I blow like a kettle. I also usually just want to leave. And I definitely did that, and feel that way this time. Not only do I want to leave the club, I want to leave the city. I want to never have to see these people again. I just want to move on and forget this ever happened.

Dylan's 4th Birthday

Here is the birthday boy, wearing his special t-shirt! The rocket ship is designed after Buzz Lightyear's ship.

Because it's his birthday, it was also Dylan's special day at school. We brought cupcakes for snack and Dylan could hardly wait to get to school this morning.

We had a short storytime at one point during the morning. Mrs. Stenger was reading to us about Joseph and his coat. After reading about 3 lines in the bible, Mrs. Stenger asked the children if Jesus is with them all the time. They gave her a blank stare. She told them yes, Jesus is with you all the time. One little boy asked "Even when you die?"

Then another kid asked "What about when your dog dies?"

She answered them, then another kids said,

"This man killed dogs and went to jail"

Mrs. Stenger didn't quite know how to respond. Then a fourth child interjected

"And you go to jail if you use drugs too!"

At this point, I was shaking I was laughing so hard.

Then Mrs. Stenger allowed one last child to make a comment. The little girl says,

"I couldn't sleep because my nose was glued shut. My mom rolled up some toilet paper and stuck it up my nose. She made it all better and I went to sleep. I woke up in the night and my nose was glued together again. I went to the bathroom for a kleenex. My parent said "GO TO BED!"

Not sure how that story was related to the death, killing of dogs and drugs, but it was quite funny.

Story time lasted another 3 sentences before time was up and we moved on to another activity.

Mrs. Stenger had a crown for Dylan to wear, and the class sang Happy Birthday to him.

We came home for lunch and play time. This is how I usually find Dylan during play time. In his underwear. Especially this pair, if he can find them. No matter that it's winter outside, he'd go naked if I let him.

Dylan was allowed to choose his birthday dinner, and he chose a Happy Meal from McDonald's. He's made the step from chicken nuggets to a cheeseburger.

I bought a small bakery cake and had it customized with his name. Chocolate because that's what he likes! Brody and I (well, okay, mostly just me) sang Happy Birthday for him, then he blew out all the candles.

I thought it would be fun to "interview" the kids with the same questions each year, and fun to see how their answers will change. Here is this year's questions:

1. How old are you? 4

2. Favorite Color: Blue

3. Favorite TV Show: Thomas

4. Favorite Toy: Cars

5. Favorite clothes to wear: Rocket Shirt

6. What do you want for your birthday? Star Wars Leapster Game

7. Favorite Song/Music: Go, Go Thomas

8. Favorite Dinner: Hot Dogs

9. Favorite drink: Chocolate Milk

10. Favorite Candy/Treat: Push-Ups

11. Least favorite food? Sugary candy. Why? Because they are really sour

12. Favorite sport to play? Snowboarding

13. Favorite sport to watch? Tony Hawk ones

14. Who is your best friend? Joey

15. What do you like best about school? Playing with the big train

16. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Daddy, to help Brody build a snowman and will go to work where Daddy works.

Just being goofy

We returned from Las Vegas on Monday evening, and on Tuesday morning Brian headed back out west to L.A. until late Friday.  The boys and I are keeping busy, but miss Daddy. We played cars for quite awhile tonight, then we took a bunch of funny pictures. You can see the full slew of pictures on our family photo website:

http://girlygirlandtheguys.shutterfly.com/

We have a big birthday around here tomorrow!

Las Vegas!

We had a great time in Las Vegas! We left las Friday, and returned Monday evening. Our dear friends Jeff and Beth drove over from Phoenix on Saturday and stayed for the rest of our long weekend. We had such a great time. Not only was it nice to just be away from the routine, also a break from the boys, but it was also great to see Jeff and Beth!

On Friday we enjoyed an awesome lunch at the Grand Wok in MGM Grand, where we stayed. Maybe it was being on vacation, but the food tasted so wonderful. We explored the east side of the strip a bit until our room was ready. We strolled all the way up to the Venetian, where we went for a gondola ride. It was very sweet.

We also enjoyed a large drink...

Brian and me, outside the Venetian. Also a view of the outdoor gondola rides.

Inside the registration lobby of the MGM. Not only was it Valentine's Day weekend, it was also Chinese New Year. All the hotels embraced this holiday.

Wondering what this is all about? :) Brian has special powers, including hooking us up with a ride in a super stretch Escalade limo. Fun, fun!

The flower garden in the Bellagio was themed around Chinese New Year as well.

Turns out Vegas is like a cruise, in the sense that while you are eating dinner, photographers ask if you'd like to have your photo taken. We had a regular modeling photo shoot, or so it felt, with the number of shots taken and the poses she was making us do!

I have many more photos, including those Beth took. Instead of trying to post them all here, I've started a Luther Family Photo website. http://www.girlygirlandtheguys.shutterfly.com/

If you have any trouble accessing it, let me know. It's not currently password protected, so you shouldn't need to sign in to see it.

Be sure to bookmark the website, as this will be a place for me to post the events with tons of pictures!

This, that & an Earthquake

I've been terribly negligent in taking pictures of the goings-on around here. I've been home a week, but it feels like just a few days. We have been busy, busy.

Saturday, we took the boys to see the Monster Trucks at the Metro Centre. Brody refused to keep ear plugs in, and also would not wear the $20 pair of ear muffs I made Brian buy. Instead, he stood and watched the show with his fingers in his ears!

Sunday, we had a few friends over for the Superbowl. No pictures, except those that Dylan and Joey took - blurry and goofy! :)

Brian has not been feeling well for a few weeks, and finally went to the doctor yesterday. He has pneumonia! He is loaded up with antibiotics, an inhaler, and a prescription for rest. He has been doing so, and we're hoping he'll feel well when we leave for Las Vegas on Friday morning.

My dad arrived on Monday. He drove all this way to be at Dylan's Grandparents Program on Tuesday morning. It was just a half hour program, so we were very appreciative that he drove down for it. My friend Tracey was at school because it was Addison's "special day", so she sent me these pictures.

Dylan is wearing a little crown with hearts on it.

As my dad sat in the audience, he wasn't sure Dylan saw him. Then, from the stage, Dylan loudly announced to the teacher "I see my Papa Gordy!!"

Here are Dylan and Addison, singing in the program. My dad said the kids sang about five songs, and recited a few poems. He was impressed with Dylan's theatrical abilities. Sounds like he did get a little off task, but shaped up just seconds before the teacher reached him to set him straight.

Dylan has woken up twice in the last week, calling for me in a worried voice. I go to his room to find him sleepily standing near the door, staring warily at his bed. Turns out there are snakes in his bed. Well, at least according to Dylan there are. I show him that there aren't any. The first night, that sufficed. Last night, he called for me once per hour. No matter what, he couldn't get over feeling scared. Poor little thing.

After the last time I got up with Dylan, around 4 a.m., I laid back in bed. Just as I was about to drift off to dreamland, I realized the entire house was shaking and there was a low humming kind of noise. I listened intently, and wondered if a big line of snow plows was going through the neighborhood. Then I realized the noise was lasting longer than plows would. The noise I remember most distinctly is Brody's door latch going click, click, click, click, click against the door jamb. There is a quarry nearby, and occasionally (during the day of course) they will blast, and it will shake the house. This experience was similar, but I didn't ever hear an initial boom, just the low rumble and shaking. I nudged Brian twice, but he didn't budge. I wondered to myself what it could possibly be. An earthquake, I thought? Naw, not here in Illinois! We get tornadoes, not earthquakes! Come to find out, it WAS an earthquake, hitting the northern Illinois region around 4 a.m. Very strange! It was kind of cool to experience it, without the addition of any major damage or injury. Definitely not something you feel every day.

I told the boys we were going upstairs for a bath. Dylan was busy in the bathroom downstairs, but Brody was free to run upstairs. I went to my closet to change out of my work clothes before joining Brody in the bathroom. As I approached, I saw Brody standing on the toilet, leaning on the counter. The sink is running. Brody is saying "Look at me, look at me!" Why he would want to call attention to this naughtyness, I am not sure; he was holding my 1 Cup measuring cup under the sink. Watching it slowly fill up, then once full, was throwing the water over his shoulder, before filling the cup up again. Wha??!! No!!!!!!! Sigh...just another five minutes with Brody, that little monkey.

Back home again

It's nice to be back home! I'm glad I was able to be there to help my mom through the days leading up to her surgery, and one day after. Though it's hard to be so far away, and to know that from here there's not much I can do.
No pictures to post today, but just a few things I want to record that the boys have said or done.

I stopped in to Aldi to grab some milk last night. I told the boys they could choose a box of cereal because we were almost out. Dylan chose the one that is like Cookie Crisp - little puffy versions of chocolate chip cookies. I told him he could get that, but could only eat a little bit, a few times a week, because it was more like a treat than breakfast. He asked me a few more questions, and by the time I had answered all of his questions, we were no where near the cereal section. Upon confirming for Dylan that this cereal does not make you big and strong, he asked to go back and choose a different cereal. I said "really?" as I kept pushing the cart around the store. "Mommy, mommy, go back!" We got back to the cereal section, where he wanted me to show him which cereals make you big and strong. I told him Chex, Cheerios or Frosted Mini Wheat. He chose Frosted Mini Wheat! It was so funny, there was no way he was going home with that cereal. This is the second or third time we've told him something will not make him big and strong and he made a good choice. Impressive, 3.9 year old, very impressive.

Last night when I was tucking Brody in to bed, I told him I had missed him. He responded "Missed you." Then I said "I love you Brody." He answered "Wuv you Mommy." Ahhh, so sweet. Not sure how it's possible, but in not seeing them for five days, both boys look bigger to me. Brody is all toddler, no baby at all. Their hair is darker. And Brody talks, a lot!

Surgery day

While my mom is in surgery, I have a little time for updating the blog. Here are a few pictures from the last week.

The boys were good for Oma's spirits for the few day or two, but it was also nice and peaceful after they left!

Uncle Matt took Dylan out snowboarding in the backyard

The boys and I...a cute photo opp until Brody covered up his face!

On Friday, Brian took the boys down to Galena to spend the weekend with Grandma and Papa. Here are a few photos from their weekend.

Kelly and I are in the waiting room of the surgery center at Regions Hospital in St. Paul. It's very nice here, fairly new. Everyone here has been very kind and seems knowledgeable.