Can you imagine me, swinging like Tarzan? No? Well, I did it. Today. And my whole body hurts. I guess I really will be 30 tomorrow.
We went to Monkey Joe's, an indoor fun-place that has several inflatable bounce houses and big slides. The "referee's" warned me to accompany Dylan in one of the more challenging bounce houses. Whew, I had no idea what I was in for.
First, you enter through a tunnel then immediately must crawl over, under, and over these big cylindrical things that looked like car wash rollers. Then you use really small rocks to climb a rock wall, only to slide down the other side. Dylan was smart, he went down on his rear. I barely managed to get myself over the top and slid down on my belly and elbows - thereby getting some serious vinyl burn in the process. Lovely.
I'm starting to sweat now, if you can imagine. It's loud in this place, plus we have the noise of the vacuums keeping this obstacle course inflated. We proceed to wind our way between hanging boxing bags, and then over a big pile of something else inflated. Finally, we are near the end. We crawl through another tunnel and come face to face with a ten foot climbing wall. There is a rope hanging...the idea is you use the rope to pull yourself up this thing, while using the rocks to climb up. For me, fine. For a three year old? No go. I attempted to get Dylan as high as I could on the wall before I started climbing. Once I started though, he couldn't hold on any longer and we both fell to the ground. Twice.
By this point, Dylan is feeling a bit frantic. We turn around and go back the way we came. We get to the slide...and there is nothing to hang on to. No way to get back up this bad boy. I try to throw Dylan over it, but it's not working, the slide is too tall. Not to mention, how am I going to get myself over this once he's over?
We spend twenty minutes going back and forth between the rock wall and the slide. In my mind I'm thinking, crap, we're stuck! Surely this must have happened to someone else before? What do they do? Is there a trap door we can go out? Are they going to deflate this entire thing for us to get out? The "referree" can't see us, and surely can't hear us in here. WE'RE STUCK!
In a last effort before we have to start yelling for help, I launched Dylan up this slide as hard as I could. He managed to grab onto the top of the slide. Hooray! I decided to take a running start and see if I could climb up this slide. Smack...no. Okay, what else can I do? I noticed the slide is just a piece of slick vinyl velcroed on the inflatable, so I lift it a bit and use it as leverage as I climb up the slide. I get high enough to grab the net covering the top of the slide, lunge for it, and swing like Tarzan up the slide and over.
Oh my gosh. I'm never going in that thing again.