Dear Santa...

Tonight, we took the boys to see Santa Claus at our local mall. I will admit that I offered the reward of playing trains at the book store if they had nice behavior and smiled. It's not a bribe as long as it's offered in advance of unwanted behavior! They both willingly agreed, though I'm not sure Brody really knew what he was agreeing to.

It worked out quite well. The boys were a tad anxious, standing there waiting for their turn. The boys before us were probably 6 and 8, and smiled so nicely. I pointed that out to Dylan, and he observed the process very carefully.

When it was their turn, Dylan climbed right up onto Santa's lap, and Brody let me put him up there without fuss. Santa asked each boy what he wanted for Christmas. Dylan wants a "big Buzz Lightyear and a big R.C. Car." Brody simply wants candy.

They posed for their picture, and in five minutes it was all over! Until next year...

No luck

Below are the results of our unsuccessful attempt at getting a nice Christmas card picture of the boys. We dressed them in their Christmas finest, promised them candy and asked them to smile. SIGH.....

By the end of this tortuous half hour, I was angry and the children thought they were very funny.

Ahhhh!

Christmas Preparations

Hard to believe we had such beautiful weather today, November 22nd. The thermometer told me it was 60 degrees today! I was able to get away this morning to a craft fair with my friend Janine. Later, Brian started working on our outdoor Christmas lights. We hadn't put up lights until last year, and only then because I always told him that once we had kids, we HAD to have lights. Who wants to grow up in a house without Christmas lights? He resisted, and finally ended up putting the lights up in falling snow last year after I announced I would climb up on a ladder and do it myself!! :) This year, I am proud to say, Brian took the initiative and bought some new decorations for outside. It makes me so happy and I'm so appreciative that he does it because he knows it is important to me.

As I said, the day was more than perfect for late November. The kids were playing outside without jackets! Brody is really enjoying riding bikes lately.

Our 2nd annual attendance at the Light Up the Parks parade was this evening. Last year it was coooold, but this year it was so warm I ended up taking my jacket off halfway through the parade. Helping Brody chase those tootsie rolls was hard work. As with last year, we went with our friends the Idstein's. The kids had a great time!

Abby, Joey and Dylan have the parade game down quite well. They were good about  not running into the road, and still managed to get tons of candy. I helped Brody collect a few pieces. He was mostly content to sit on the blanket on the curb and watch the action go by. Occasionally I'd see him casually reach behind him for his candy bag and take a piece. I discovered he was chewing on tootsie rolls with the paper still on them. Mmmm, a little extra fiber.

It was a great parade, about 50 minutes. We saw several neighbors in the parade, a few marching bands and tons of decorated fire trucks. Afterward, the Idstein's came over for a chili dinner. We really enjoy this tradition!

With all this "Christmas" preparation, it almost feels like Thanksgiving is all but forgotten about this year. I noticed back in July, yes, July, that Hobby Lobby was putting out Christmas merchandise. Our Boy Scout wreath was delivered yesterday, and I bought poinsettia's at the grocery store today (but only because they were such a great price!). We are very much looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving in Iowa this coming week. After that, the Christmas prep can really begin!

Onward

The conference at Peace Lutheran didn't go so well. I've rehashed it with so many people, that by now, I'm tired of typing about it. Mrs. Wurth responded with denial, claiming that she had been telling me about Dylan's time-outs all along. She also claimed to have told me he was denied snack. I absolutely refuted it all. I guess in her mind, telling me "Dylan didn't have such a good day" means "We didn't give him snack today because he refused to help clean up." And she didn't start telling me things like "Dylan didn't have such a good day" until I started asking.

She emphatically stated that denying snack to a 3 year old is a perfectly reasonble consequence for "outright disobediance" and Dylan needs to learn who the authority is. She also denied that their curriculum is any more religion based than any other preschool. We discussed for awhile, until the teacher's aide came to the rescue by telling Mrs. Wurth that yes, they are more religious than other preschools. We made it clear it was our responsibility, that we had not done our research, we weren't stating the program is wrong for all families, but it's just not right for us. She just couldn't understand that. Eventually, she stopped trying to convince us this is right for Dylan and started crying. Then she had the gall to say she was sad because she won't be seeing Dylan in heaven.

Her behavior proved to us that we were making the right choice. It's wack-a-doo religious behavior like that that really turns us off. Just because our faith doesn't sound and look like hers, apparently we are destined for hell. And for me, aside from taking Dylan out of that school, the other positive has been realizing that it's okay if I do faith my way. I don't have to follow everyone's rules in order to believe in God and be a person of faith. I think that's one thing about religion that has always bothered me. The Uber religious convince everyone else there is only one way of doing things to get in the pearly gates, when really, I think inside your heart is where you know the answer to that. People act like just because you don't go to church on Sunday mornings you aren't as faithful as they are. I say "Whatever!" to that.

I had a really great discussion with two friends at work about faith and religion. I honestly had started to believe that because I didn't do faith a certain way, I wasn't a faithful person. But I've realized that's not the case at all. And the more people I talk to about it, the more I realize that many people don't think you have to follow the "rules" either.

Well, enough about that for now. If I spilled all the thoughts in my head about religion, this post would be 500 pages long.

We were very lucky to get a morning spot at the preschool in the Roscoe United Methodist Church. It's just five minutes north of us and about the same price. It was looking like the only spots available in the entire area were afternoon spots, so we really were lucky. We visited the school yesterday and Dylan had no qualms about going right in and meeting the teacher and playing with the toys. Brody put on quite a show, which was just thrilling (read the sarcasm?). I think this will be a good place for him. A more moderate religious curriculum, a teacher who has said she communicates with parents if there are any concerns, etc.

Change is hard sometimes

I've had some growing concerns with Dylan's preschool.

A few weeks before school started, the teacher came to our house to do his home visit. Dylan climbed up and sat on the arm of the couch. She said to him "You should get down, I'm sure you aren't allowed to sit up there!" I was surprised that she took it upon herself to discipline him in our home, with us present, and even more surprised that she thought sitting on the arm of the couch is a bad thing. Dylan wasn't paying a lot of attention to the questions she was asking, and she seemed a little impatient. I started to wonder if she isn't very good at harnessing all the energy little boys have.

One day, a few weeks into school, Dylan came running out of class and said "Mommy. I didn't have any time outs today!" I wanted to say "Great job, buddy!" but I found myself saying, "I didn't know you'd had any since school started??" I went over right away and asked the teacher about it. She responded that yes, he'd been having time outs because he was "working" on his listening skills. I wasn't surprised about him not listening all the time, but was surpised that they hadn't mentioned it to me. It seems to me that the teachers and Brian and I can all work on the good listening reminders together. I thought it was really strange that they  hadn't said anything to me.

Time passed, Dylan went to school, but I always had to convince him it would be a fun day. After I'd pick him up, we would talk about his morning at school. What did they talk about, what they had for snack. One day Dylan told me he didn't get snack because he was in time out. Now that seems like a significant punishment to me, so obviously his behavior must have been really bad. He told me he hadn't helped clean up, therefore, while everyone else had snack, he and another little boy sat in time out. It seems like a harsh punishment to me. I'm not concerned that he's going to starve, but again, I was surprised that the teachers hadn't mentioned it to me. If his behavior is so bad that it deserves snack being withheld, seems like something the teachers should be telling me. I know it's not just Dylan either, because I have a friend with a child in the class, and she has also reported missing snack.

I'm disappointed with what I perceive to be a lack of communication. I get the feeling this school is very parochial. Very "what we do here is our business." One day, as we parents stood outside the classroom door to pick up our kids, one boy (not Dylan, I could tell) was screaming "I want my Mommy!" over and over for a good few minutes. It was upsetting, just hearing it from the other side of the door. It just made me wonder why he was so upset.

With growing concern over the teacher's lack of communication, Brian and I were also surprised at the amount of religious material that was coming home in his backpack. With it being a church, we planned on a certain amount of bible stories or songs about Jesus, but we didn't anticipate that Dylan would be spending a portion of his time memorizing bible verses, or that the Pastor would come in each Thursday and give the kids a testimonial. A testimonial for three year olds? It seems extreme to us. The kids are not allowed to take out any toys that make too much of a mess on Thursdays, because they take too long to clean up and interrupt the testimonial time. Dylan spends five hours a week at school, and of that time, he's spending 25% of it on memorizing bible verses or listening to a testimonial. That was not our goal with preschool. We want Dylan to  be prepared for kindergarten, continue to grow his social skills, learn to appreciate authority, and yes, learn about Jesus, but not to this extent. It almost feels more like a Sunday school curriculum than a three year old preschool program.

With a heavy heart, we have decided this school is not a match for our family. I have begun the search for a new school. I feel really good about our decision, but am anxious about how Dylan will adjust to the change. I don't know if we can attribute it to school or not, but over the last few months, Dylan has become increasingly introverted and extremely sensitive. Maybe that's just his personality and it happened to coincide with going to school. Either way, I am concerned how he will respond to such a big change.

On Tuesday of this coming week, we have a conference with his current teacher. We plan to go and hear about Dylan's progress. We will also clarify our concerns and hope the teacher can address them. I'm not expecting their answers to change our minds though. I hope to have him in a new school by the end of the week or early next week.

I'm feeling more anxious about this change, for Dylan's sake, than I imagined I would. It's funny to think a decision about preschool pains me this much. It's not like it's high school and we're talking about guns, drugs, etc. Regardless, we know this school isn't a match for our family.

This and that

We received Dylan's class photo today. I didn't realize the class was down to just 11 kids. With two teachers, that means a lot of attention and teaching. You can click the photo to see a larger version. Dylan is in the back row, wearing the green shirt.

Let's see, what else is going on around here? Brian left for NYC last night, and returns on Friday. That always makes for a long week, but as usual it will probably go fast.

The things these boys say continue to make me laugh daily, and also make me wonder where they hear the things they are repeating. . On Halloween after trick or treating, we went to the hockey game. Dylan asked if Cory was going to be there. We told him Cory works somewhere else now. He thought about that for a minute, then said, "We'll have to think about him, now that he's gone."

I was using the bathroom and Dylan came in and sat on the step stool. I asked him to leave so I could have privacy, he said no. Proceeded to turn around, pull down his pants and undies (which were both on backwards, by the way) showed me his bottom and said "I have chocolate poopy." Now where would he have heard that??? He said at school, but who knows. And I also wonder who else he is showing his bottom to??

Lately, every time I take a picture, Brody says "Smile, Monkey!" That must be what I say to him.

At the Halloween party on Saturday, Dylan didn't seem to want to play with the other kids. I think he's having a hard time adjusting to being a "big boy." He said to me "I want you to hold me, so I can be your little boy again." My poor baby is finding growing up to be difficult. I'm not sure what to do about easing him through this transition. I give tons of hugs and kisses, and always tell him he's my buddy. We do fun activities that only big boys can do too. I hope he doesn't suffer through this stage for too long.

I was up most of the night, didn't sleep well. That's another story to come. Around 4:30, Brody woke up and was crying because he was congested and couldn't breathe. I rocked him for awhile, and as we rocked, he started talking about Daddy, hockey and Hammy (the Ice Hogs mascot). I thought that was pretty funny, considering he had just woken up and wasn't feeling the greatest. I guess he wanted to talk about hockey!

And the reason I didn't sleep well...I woke up around 2:30 a.m. and couldn't fall back to sleep. I was thinking of my friend Angie, who was scheduled for a c-section this morning. I was feeling a bit anxious about it. Losing our classmate to complications that developed after delivery was a big shake-up. To think of something happening was disturbing to say the last. Thankfully, all went well and Aubrey Colleen Burlison was born at 8:15 this  morning. Both she and Angie are doing well!

As we were leaving this morning to take Dylan to school, I reminded him to go potty before we left. He did, and before he could flush, Brody walked right up, dipped his head into the toilet and took a big slurp!!! So far he hasn't keeled over, so I'm guessing it's more gross than harmful. But oh, so, gross!!

Halloween

We had quite a busy Halloween this year, due to it being a Saturday. Our friends the Idstein's had a children's Halloween party in the early afternoon. It meant skipping nap time, but we went anyway. The boys dressed as Buzz and Woody.

The party was mostly 4 year old preschoolers and 6 year old first graders, and Dylan didn't want to participate much. I think this was one of the rare days he could have used a nap. Once Janine brought out the party favors, Dylan perked up!

We headed home and both boys took a short nap. They woke up just in time for Trick or Treating! The weather was quite chilly and windy. We had planned for Brody to wear the lion costume that Dylan wore two years ago, and we were hoping Dylan would wear his monkey from last year, but he decided to wear a jacket over his Buzz Lightyear costume instead.

Luckily, the wind died down just as we were heading out and though it was a bit chilly and required mittens, it wasn't a bad night for a neighborhood stroll. This year I took the boys out while Brian stayed home to pass out candy. Brody was so stinkin' cute - he got right up to the door and would say "Trick or Treat" except the only part you can understand is "Treat." Dylan did most of the talking and knocking though, so that worked out. In an hour, we had visited half of our block before the boys were ready to retire for the night. Their pumpkins were full and Brody could barely carry his anymore.  We came home to inspect the loot.

Of course, seeing Brody in this costume reminds me of when Dylan wore it.

Dylan, 2007

After the boys enjoyed a few of their treats, we went with Brian down to the Metro Centre for the hockey game. The boys only lasted one period, but that was long enough for Brian to have made an appearance. Brody got lots of "Oh, cute!" comments and looks in his costume, and both boys were given candy and stickers by some of the employees. A busy but fun day!